you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
