I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
