Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
