I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
