roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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