hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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