He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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