So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
