Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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