Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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