Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
