I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
