No stitches, just platelets and will power
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
