Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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