i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
