wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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