Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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