no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We left the knife in your bed.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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