i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
