i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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