I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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