they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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