four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
