I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
