I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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