Define "chronic" masturbator.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
