If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
