She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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