Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
