I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
