therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Who wears a wallet chain?!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
