You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
