this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
