I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Farmville is her only friend.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
