so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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