i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
