whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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