it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
