I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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