Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
