bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Randomize