I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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