Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
