But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
