So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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