google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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