I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
