i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
ttyl tear gas
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
