dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
she woke up with a sticky ear
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
