Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
When are your genitals available?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
