i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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