So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
