and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
