remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
