i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
