I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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