i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I woke up under a house in Key West
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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