so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
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