question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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