I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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