Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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