another moral hangover. fuck.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
