I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
