White coat. Heels.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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