I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
its not stalking. its research.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
