ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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