meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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