my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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