What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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