he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
