Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
