I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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