I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
