Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the day after is always just damage control
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
