apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
