I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
