i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
