Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
