Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
