i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
