help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
