I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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