How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I cannot find my penis.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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