the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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