Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
