I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
