i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
